It's not easy to be me
by Lizalaroo
Summary: A song fic about Heero and his troubles with life. Can’t you see I’m just a young boy looking for something in my life worth saving. Can’t you see, I’m alone? Can’t you see, it’s not easy to be who you want me to be. It’s not easy... to be m


**AN: **No I don't own Five for Fighting or their album or Gundam Wing, but I do own the paragraphs in between the bold writing (which is the song).

**Heero's**** point of view.**

**_Superman (It's Not Easy)  
_**_  
**I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
I'm just out to find  
The better part of me**_

_  
_A boy not more than 15 is sitting in his Gundam. A boy who has to fight high in the air. The boy is scared of heights yet he has to fight. That boy is me. I have nothing else but this gundam, I wish there was something good about me, except this stupid ability to fight. I don't think I'll ever find the better part of me!

**_I'm more than a bird…I'm more than a plane  
More than some pretty face beside a train  
It's not easy to be me _**

They think I'm better than anyone. The hero, the champion, the saviour. They think I look cool and fight for the innocent. They think I'm the best. That is how I live, but living up to those expectations. But its hard! It's not easy flying in my gundam. It hurts! I want to be free and set loose, away from this stupid flying machine. It's not easy to be there whenever one expects me to be there, but without me they have nothing left. But it's hard! It is not easy to be who they think I am! Its not easy!

**_Wish that I could cry  
Fall upon my knees  
Find a way to lie  
About a home I'll never see_**_  
  
_Someone fired a beam at me. It hurts a lot, but I can't scream. I'm not like that. I hold the pain, and the sorrow. That is the only way I can be _brave. _They hit again and my mind screams but my mouth is shut. It hurts to not be able to tell anyone how I feel. I wish I could cry, but then I'd be considered an idiot and a coward. I wish I could surrender and fall on my knees. I don't want to fight anymore. I have nothing to fight for. Sure, I can lie that I have a home somewhere out there, but really, I'll never have a home in my whole life, and all I can do is lie about it. I don't want to lie anymore. I want to be free!_  
_

**_It may sound absurd…but don't be naive  
Even Heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed…but won't you concede  
Even Heroes have the right to dream  
It's not easy to be me _**

You may think that what I am saying is stupid and funny, but I'm not lying. Open your eyes and see the true me is having a really hard time. They shake their heads and widen their eyes when I get hurt. Don't be stupid! Even heros bleed sometimes. Don't be stupid, we CAN get hurt and it DOES hurt let me tell you.  
I may see strange and suicidal. But how would you feel if you knew the only way you could be a hero would be by fighting. How could you feel if there was nowhere to do but the battle field where I will die one day. It may not be soon but one day I'm going to die and I'll never have anything else.  
Sometimes I wish that I was just a normal kid in high school, studying hard for tests, coming late to class, going to parties. I wish I never went to fight in the first place. Don't look at me like that! I have a right to dream, even though that is all I can do now. I can only dream!   
Yeah, it's not easy to be the person you set me as, it's not easy.

**_Up, up and away…away from me  
It's all right…You can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy…or anything…_**_  
  
_Yeah, don't worry. I'll protect you whenever you need me to protect you. Just go back to bed while I fight and hurt myself. The more I fight the more I am flowing away from the person I once wished to be. I'm not who you think I am. No, don't worry. I'm not crazy or anything, I'm just not the person you think I am.

**_I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
Men weren't meant to ride  
With clouds between their knees   
  
_**I'm up in the air again, flying around and around trying to beat the enemy. It's hard and it takes long. Look around you, where are the other men? They are probably sitting in your house drinking some coffee depending on me while I fly high above the clouds. Don't be naive! Boys aren't meant to fly high in the sky as if it's a normal thing. It's not normal to be up in the sky all the time like I am. But what can you say? I'm not normal. I'm a hero aren't I? 

**_I'm only a man in a silly red sheet  
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
Only a man in a funny red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me   
  
_**No, I'm not a hero. Can't you see I'm just a boy looking for something that is good about me. Just because I have a gundam and I usually win and defeat the enemy I'm not a hero. Why don't you look closer? Can't you see I'm just a young boy looking for something in my life worth saving. Can't you see, I'm alone? 

**_It's_****_ not easy to be me. _**

****

Can't you see, it's not easy to be who you want me to be. It's not easy... to be me. 


End file.
